New York Divorce Report - New York's Divorce and Family Law Blog

What really happened to Tiger Woods? We will probably never know- though we can speculate. If the voicemail released of Tiger Woods pleading with a lover “Can you please take your name off my phone?” is authentic, perhaps the car accident was the result of a heated argument that escalated violently out of control. On the other hand, the accident could have resulted from a distraught Tiger’s failed attempt to drive away from the house to allow everyone time to cool off. Regardless, despite the public criticism, Tiger was well counseled not to speak with the authorities. In the end,... More

The holidays can be one of the most stressful times.  There are financial and familial demands.  The stress and pressure can become unbearable and lead to depression.   The Mayo Clinic offers ten tips into dealing with holiday stress.  1. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season. 2. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek... More

The New York Court of Appeals narrowly upheld same sex marriage in New York.   The Court, in a 4-3 decision did not settle the question  of whether same-sex marriages performed in other states should be recognized. Judge Eugene F. Pigott Jr., writing for the majority, expressed “hope that the Legislature will address this controversy.” The three judges in  a concurring decision,said that the court should have addressed the wider issue because New York law already allows for the recognition of marriages that are considered legal elsewhere. In her concurring opinion,  Judge Carmen Beauchamp Ciparick, wrote  “that the orders under review... More

Not all lies are equal or bad, so says Elizabeth Bernstein in the Wall Street Journal. No one would ever claim that lies about infidelity would be acceptable. But, as Ms. Bernstein urges, “the fibs and feints and little white lies that serve as a social salve and help a relationship run smoothly.” Some of the acceptable reasons, to fib, she argues, include- “to avoid conflict, to gain approval, to save face or just to be kind.” Every man learns, for instance, that the answer to the question “does this outfit make me look fat” is an emphatic “No!” Perhaps... More

In order to have real conversations about marriage and divorce  (and everything in between), I started a fan page  Married in New York.  Please check it out.   Become a fan and become engaged (in the discussion). The first topic of discussion  is the question I am  probably asked most often: When people first wed, they are in a state of bliss and believe that their marriage will be forever. Why you think half of marriages fail?   What do you think? Have no fear- I will continue to write this blog.       ... More

It was been an interesting week in family law practice, which I thought I note before taking a few days off with my family .  In the same week Governor Paterson announced that he was introducing legislation to recognize same sex marriage, a couple decisions involving the custody rights of same sex marriages were announced.   In the first, Debra H. v. Janice R., the Appellate Division, First Department, held that the same sex partner of a woman who gave birth did not have standing to assert parental rights after the parties broke up.   The Court ruled that although Debra H.,... More

As I predicted in this blog, same sex divorce has come to New York. A Supreme Court judge in Broome County has granted a same-sex Binghamton couple a divorce. As pointed out at Pressconnect.com, this divorce is a bit ironic. New York doesn't allow same-sex marriages, but state Justice Molly R. Fitzgerald allowed Lauren Wells-Weiss to divorce her partner, Shari Weiss. The two married Aug. 13, 2004, in Toronto, after a private religious ceremony before family and friends in Ithaca in 2001. The case is paradoxical, said both women's attorneys, because in their opinion the judge recognized the lesbian couple... More

Courts throughout New York continue to expand the rights of parties in same-sex marriages. For the first time, a judge has ruled that the survivor of a legal same-sex marriage is entitled to inherit from his spouse's estate. Although New York will not recognize a same-sex marriage performed within the state, with a few exceptions, courts and state agencies will recognize marriages solemnized in Canada, Massachusetts and other states where same sex marriage is legal. In Matter of the Estate of H. Kenneth Ranftle, Surrogate Judge Kristin Booth Glen designated J. Craig Leiby as the "surviving spouse and sole distributee"... More

New York City is making a big play to challenge Las Vegas to become a marriage destination. As reported on Cityfile.com:  Next week the city opens its new, 24,000-square-foot Manhattan Marriage Bureau following $12 million in renovations to the building. (The mayor tapped his personal interior designer, Jamie Drake, to do the job.) . . . It's all part of Michael Bloomberg's plan to unseat Las Vegas as the nation's "wedding capital" and turn New York into a marriage destination! When I went to get my marriage license ten years ago, I thought that that the marriage bureau in New... More

Last week’s article in the NY Times about how difficult divorce has become as a result of the housing crisis has stirred up quite a bit of debate. The Times notes that: In a normal economy, couples typically build equity in their homes, then divide that equity in a divorce, either after selling the house or with one partner buying out the other’s share. But after the recent boom-and-bust cycle, more couples own houses that neither spouse can afford to maintain, and that they cannot sell for what they owe. For couples already under stress, the family home has become... More

I recently came across pretty naive article in which Ashia Sims, a relationship examiner, opined that marriage should be forever and divorce should not be an option. While the idea that that marriage is forever is highly appealing and very romantic, it is premised on an overly simplistic or idealized view that two people are destined to be together, forever. In her article, Ms. Sims wrote: In my mind, once I’m married it’s FOR LIFE. There is no breaking up or getting a divorce. We are going to make it work and grow old together. Period. I do agree... More

In writing this blog, I always find it interesting to observe which articles are most viewed. Over time, I have observed that the articles I’ve written about broken engagements and the return of engagement rings are quite heavily trafficked.   So then, it came as no surprise to me that the New York Times contained a fairly comprehensive article about If Things Fall Apart, Who Gets The Ring?   While the law in New York regarding the return of engagement rings is well settled, the article points out that there is no uniform national rule about the return of engagement rings if the couple fails... More

Massachusetts will soon allow same sex couples from other states to wed reports theSteven Ballard in the Massachusetts Divorce & Family Law Blog. As I previously reported, while New York will not allow same sex couples to wed, it will recognize as valid, marriages performed in jurisdictions that allow same sex marriage. I guess New England will soon become a popular wedding andhoneymoon destination for New York’s same sex couples.... More

Following up on yesterday’s posting is this article, in today’s New York Post, (in which I was quoted). The floodgates have opened; there will be thousands of same-sex marriages performed in California in the near future. In the aftermath, I anticipate a wave of same sex divorces. At least, one court has already recognized the right of same sex couples to seek a divorce in New York.  In order to avoid the pain of divorce, same-sex marriage couples should be urged to proceed with caution. As pointed out in the Post: Fools rush in, they said, even gay fools. "It's... More

In an environment where every day we are greeted with news about the troubled economy, we are thankful for any sign of economic growth. Today, California began performing same sex marriages which may provide a boost to the local California economy. The New York Times reported that: The potential windfall of same-sex marriage was underscored this week in a study by the Williams Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles, School of Law, which estimated that over three years, same-sex nuptials would contribute $684 million to the state’s wedding industry and $64 million to the state budget. The... More

Governor David Paterson must be a follower of this blog. I have written several times in the recent past about  decisions in which the courts have recognized the validity of same sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions. Now, the Governor has issued an directive requiring all New York State agencies to offer gay couples, wed in jurisdictions that allow same sex marriage (like Canada, Massachusetts and now California), the same legal rights as enjoyed by heterosexual couples. According to the New York Times, “The revisions are most likely to involve as many as 1,300 statutes and regulations in New York... More

Mildred Loving,, who successfully challenged Virginia’s law that barred inter-racial marriage died this week. In the landmark case Loving v. Virginia, the United States Supreme Court unanimously struck down Virginia’s miscegenation law as it violated the equal protection clause of the Constitution. Mrs. Loving’s obituary in the New York Times presents a haunting account of her case, her life and the cruel effects of the miscegenation laws: By their own widely reported accounts, Mrs. Loving and her husband, Richard, were in bed in their modest house in Central Point in the early morning of July 11, 1958, five weeks after... More

A second appellate court went out of its way to implicitly recognize the legitimacy of same sex marriage in New York. I previously discussed the case of Funderburke v. State of New York in which the claim of an employee of the Uniondale school district who sought health benefits for his same-sex partner was dismissed. The basis of the dismissal was that New York, at the time, did not recognize same sex marriage. The parties were validly married in Canada. Since that time, as I have posted, New York courts began to recognize the validity of same sex marriages. In... More

Stating the obvious (and arising to the level of  “who pays for these studies”), a study found that: “A happy marriage is good for your blood pressure, but a stressed one can be worse than being single.” Study volunteers wore devices that recorded their blood pressure at random times over 24 hours. Married participants also filled out questionnaires about their marriage. Analysis found that the more marital satisfaction and adjustment spouses reported, the lower their average blood pressure was over the 24 hours and during the daytime. But spouses who scored low in marital satisfaction had higher average blood pressure... More

In the past weeks, I have commented on the two recent court decisions regarding same sex marriage and same sex divorce divorce. I just saw a funny television commercial for the Broadway show, November regarding these very issues. In ad, the President (Nathan Lane) is asked by his aide for his view on gay marriage. He answers: Gays should be allowed to marry, but not to divorce . . . therefore gaining new liberty and all the suffering that comes from knowing that there is no way out. The (ad #2) can be viewed here... More